It was like an outer-body-but-in-Barney’s-body experience. I’m talking about my blessed hour in a raccoon mascot suit. 5 hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes huh? Well you haven’t lived until you put in some time in one of these babies.
Was I thrilled from the moment I got the news that I’d be visiting a local elementary school as a masked rodent? Not exactly. There was a pout here and a gnash there and although I never wanted to be “that” librarian I definitely had this fleeting thought: ‘Dress up in a who and do what?? Dude! I have a Master’s Degree!’ Nonetheless I put on the suit and walked into the school and boy am I glad I did.
Children (especially the kind that you, yourself don’t hafta feed, clothe and make something of) are such a joy. Haven’t gotten your 15 minutes? Put on a mascot suit and go to an elementary school! I felt like Beyonce or Beiber! The kids showered me with such adoration and applause! I may not have to see my therapist this month!
So I’ll give you a quick and dirty (librarian term) report:
- If you ever agree to get in a mascot suit (and you must), make sure the fan inside the head works. Mine didn’t and I had a waterfall of sweat rolling down my face the entire time. When I was beside myself with heat and sweat my assistant pulled me to the side and threw cold water from her water bottle through the mesh eyes and onto my face Basketball Wives style. Between my mascara and the sweat and water I still looked like a raccoon when I took the head off.
- If you ever agree to get in a mascot suit (and you must), you gotta pay special attention to that one kid, the one that looks a little more disheveled and neglected that the rest. They’re the one who really needs you to be their big, giant, caring, non-creepy bear.
- If you ever agree to get in a mascot suit (you know the drill), you might want to check out this or that to get prepared. Blowing kisses and waving is all good but a mascot who Crip walks? #winning
- If you ever agree to get in a mascot suit make sure that they just, recently, some time this century dry cleaned it. I learned this one the hard way amigos. I smelled a faint sourness putting the suit on but when I emerged the sourness was all the way turned up and my whole body smelled like athletes foot. I felt like I need to be tested for e-coli.
- Kids can really feel good vibrations. Every teacher I encountered said that this is the first mascot visit that didn’t elicit screams of terror from the tots. #pureloveoverhere
Can’t give you pictures of me as Rocky the reading rodent because I can’t associate my (perhaps) off colored ramblings with my Library’s image but I can assure you I came, I waved, I Rockied the house.