Self absorption irks me. It’s grating to see others indulge in it and especially grating when I’m guilty of it myself. All that to say, Miss Nova Bordelon on OWN’s Queen Sugar series–who some might say is the poster child for self-centeredness–has tap-danced on my nerves more than a few times.
Her latest antic that has the culture’s collective bloomers in a bunch is the publishing of her tell-all memoir. If the Bordelon’s family secrets were a big ol’ 5 gallon jug of ice tea she spilled every drop.
Did she spill it for the hell of it? personal gain? with malice? I reject all of those notions. This is a very unpopular opinion in most comment threads and chat rooms. Most hold that Nova exploited her families personal tragedies in pursuit of literary fame. Nova, ‘worr’some’ as she can be, is brilliant and creative. She could have written something else, but she was struck with a deep abiding need to do this work and write this story.
In addition to being a creative she’s a healer. That’s been established. She saw writing this book as an intersection of 2 of her gifts…writing and healing. I imagine that she envisioned that telling their stories from where she stood could help them all toward the various healings they needed. I think she thought too that examining the intricacies of each of their paths could help her toward her healing as well. I’m reminded of that line from The Color Purple film where Celie’s father turns to her and said “You bet not never tell nobody but God…it’d kill you mother”.
That line always stuck with me. He effectively imprisoned Celie, the secret bearer, with her shame. Yes, give those secrets and burdens to God…but also consider giving them room to spread out, unfold and transform in other healing spaces as well. Sometimes that’s what God wants for us. So yes, I think Nova was guilty of a few things: overstepping her bounds, airing dirty laundry and talking family business in mixed company… and there were casualties. But I think she did it in the spirit of having the bold, jarring, alarming truth set everyone free.
life on tuesday 