Pulp and Circumstance: A Tale of Breakfast

Hiya party people!

Once upon a time there was a short, chocolate, Muslimah Queen. She had many talents, including blank staring, doing impressions of herself and she even maintained a blog with a modest following. This Queen appreciated a challenge as much as the next person—so long as it didn’t interfere with or alter her daily routine in the slightest—but a challenge wouldn’t be a challenge if it didn’t…

The chocolatiest Queen I could find with a Google image search. Always liked Arthur so I'm cool with it.

The latest challenge in this Queen’s life was the addition of her eldery father-in-law to her household. She recognized it for what it was—a blessing AND a test. And she and her family adjusted accordingly. They fell into a rhythm. With the exception of breakfast.

The Queen had 4 children and a husband, the King, who was amazing 90.78% of the time (The other 9.22%? Well that’s a story for another time kiddies).  She hadn’t the benefit of wait staff or ‘help’.  Recession era.  Even the royals felt it.  But back to breakfast.  It fell upon the Queen to prepare the morning meal for the King’s father.  Breakfast had always been the Queen’s nemesis.  It combined 2 things which she utterly despised—early mornings and doing things in the early morning.

It's rootin' and tootin'!

She rarely ate breakfast and when she did it wasn’t ’til around 11ish.  As for the royal crumbmakers, she would normally only give them breakfasts which could be tossed at them to them as they headed to the car.  Toast, granola bars, bananas, orange slices; if you could chuck it at a kid, that’s what they ate.  Not so for the King’s father, a sweet silver-haired octogenarian with a twinkle to his eye.  For him the Queen had to pull out all the stops,  she used their best serving tray, the best dishes, if there was only one paper towel left on the roll—he got it with the best of the cutlery lovingly wrapped inside.  Hey! Regarding the paper towel no judgement! Technically that’s heresy…

I'm just sayin.

Ok where was I?

Oh yes, the breakfast.  Bleary eyed and the egg-shell shocked (more than a few eggs have rolled off the counter to their death) the Queen would stand in the middle of the kitchen for 10 minutes just looking.  And blinking.  Eventually, the fruit got cut, the coffee percolating, the eggs plated and the hot cereal bowled.  Each day the Queen tried to move a little faster, get started a little earlier, do something a little more efficiently; but try as she might the Queen could not shave down the breakfast routine time causing the children to be late to the Royal Academy, her to be late to her job (Recession!) and the King to be late to—Kinging. The Queen did 2 things, she issued an edict declaring all short order cooks (specifically those who worked the early AM shift) to be given a 50% raise. The second thing she did was put out a call for suggestions on streamlining her morning routine. Who will answer the call? Who will answer the call?

The End

Day/Title 87

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You can get with this, Or you can get with that

Welcome to the 1st installation of what will be my themed-day-of-the-week-post. Whats a themed-day-of-the-week-post?*  Its when bloggers pick a day; Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, you know the rest, and get cutesy with it by assigning it a theme which they will riff on every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, you know the rest.

I must say I see Wednesday done most often.  So the non-conformist in me screamed  “hey! lets go wild and choose…Tuesday!”  Plus I’m off on Tuesday’s so there you have it.  Themes run the gamut from Mama Always Said Mondays to Things That Make You Say ‘Hmmm’…Thursdays.  Those gems are hypothetical by the way.  If someone is writing a Mama Always Said Mondays post give me the deets and I’m there!

So for those who weren’t paying attention my day of the week= Tuesday, fitting right?  And after the careful deliberation that these things require, I’ve decided that my theme= There are two kinds of people in the world.
Congrats ladies and gents you have witnessed the  birth (slime-less and goo-less but maybe a tad orgasmic) of  Two Kinds of People Tuesday!!!

What two kinds are under the microscope today?

1. People who like The Tonight Show With Jay Leno AKA people with Doritos taste

2. People who like the Late Show With David Letterman AKA People with Camembert taste any taste

This dude wears suspenders, and pin stripes! Why does anyone else bother? Letterman's swag is on deck!

*There’s probably some concise little phrase that bloggers have invented as a moniker for this phenomenon but I don’t know it so you’re stuck with my unwieldy, hyphen laden term 😀

I blog your pardon! Rude much?

If you’re not a blogger you can ignore this scathing indictment.   Oh yeah, its scathing.   But if you are a blogger allow me to bend your ear for a moment. You can bend it back when I’m done.

OK.  I thought I was gonna be able to keep on truckin’ without saying anything but I’m gonna hafta get it off my chest. Yes,  I’ve always looked askance at ‘netiquette’. **If there was a ‘whiny voice’ font I’d be using it here** —>Don’t all caps at me! Your subject line wasn’t descriptive enough! Blah, blah! blah!

Hey! If you’re that sensitive you don’t need to be out here on these interwebs.  You need go hang out with that chick from ‘Mean Girls’ who was all “I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we’d all eat it and be happy” and the two of you need to work on getting tickets to the Oprah show…  Well seeing as that ship has sailed I guess Dr. Phil will hafta suffice.  **Shrug** What are ya gonna do?

Antyway back to my rant.   While I think netiquette is just a tad  much, I do think that fellow bloggers should recognize the plight of our ilk and act accordingly.  We’re all in the same boat.  We’re all writers who pour out bits of our soul in the blogoverse and then pretend to be blasé about whether we have an audience or not.  No not all of us are trying to achieve the blog world domination status that this sista has  managed.  But we do want to know that on occasion a person takes a look at our word craft and says “Hey! I like the cut of his/her jib (or nib if you will)! I like it enough to “like” them!”

I get it.  It takes time and energy to get a blog noticed and it doesn’t happen over night.  But here’s the thing that I’m getting at.  If I exerted the energy to like something you authored, it seems only right you should return the favor.  You’ve already noticed me!  I’m right there liking your stuff.  Take a gander at mine!  I’m sure there’s something there that you can like!  What?  Do you have strict quality control for your likes?  What are you the Anna Wintour of  “likes”?   What  are you on a “likes” budget? Don’t even get me started on not reciprocating subscription requests.

Ok.  I  realize I probably origami-d your ear.  Sorry bout dat.

But about my rant, everybody’s thinking it.  I just said it 😀

Origami Yoda says "Blog respectfully padwan".

Day 29 Della and Mac, up in a tree…

Something you could never get tired of doing:

This challenge is really making me look closely at myself, something I don’t always relish doing.  Ah welp.  I was fixing my thumbs to type (thumbs because I’m blogging from my phone because my Dell, her name was Della Reese, went kaput. I’m gonna get a Mac for my next laptop even though I’m not a fan of what seemed to be Jobs’ personal constitution. There’s a good article about him on http://www.gizmodo.com.  I’d put the link in but I’m blogging from my phone. Whew! How’s that for a tangent?!)

Anyway I was fixing to type I could never get tired of writing but that’s not true ’cause I really don’t feel like writing this entry today hence the flagrant forays. I love alliteration. 

Oooh! I got it! Reading!  I could never tire of reading. Blogs, books, articles, poetry, bathroom grafitti… I love witnessing other folks perspectives, listening to their truth and following their flights of fancy. 

I hope to someday give readers something to love. 

Day 20 waffling and floundering–not just for the kitchen

The meaning behind your blog name:

I’m fairly new to the blogging-hood, still unpacking and deciding on drapes and color palettes.  I been here about 2 months and had as many names for my blog.  We started out as ‘tenacious nebula’.  I liked it but it never really hugged me.  The idea behind tenacious nebula was that its author (moi) was a bit blurry around the edges and perhaps a tad noncommittal—but that I was working on sharpening my focus. The tagline was ‘blurry, but determined to zoom in’.

So I was chugging along  and decking out my place with a theme change here and a widget there when that noncommittal thing cropped up.  I think I was shelling shrimp in my kitchen when the following inner monologue struck:

Tenacious nebula? Am I serious? What am I? A ‘Big Bang Theory’ fanboy?

 

That name reeks of beakers and petri dishes. Get me outta there! 

That’s when I resolved to change it.  I got to thinking, whats my blog about? Its about…well its about life. At least that’s the aim, ambitious though it may be.  Peep the stream of consciousness:

my life–>my name’s asha–>asha means life–>my life can slip into arbitrariness if i’m not careful–>whats more arbitrary than Tuesday?

Hence LIFE ON TUESDAY* was born!

*I was also born on Tuesday–Abina according to West African naming traditions.

Whatchall think? Changing it was a good move right?  Quick! Somebody re-affirm!  **nail biting**