For the past four years now I’ve considered myself an optimist in training. Four years is a heckuva long time to be training at something and not be proficient at it so I had to be honest with myself–becoming an optimist, like deactivating my Facebook page and defacing some public property was sitting at the bottom of my to-do list unchecked. I know what I have to do. I hafta go cold turkey. For the next 30 days (30 days to make/break a habit right?) I’m gonna replace a curmudgeonly act with a shiny happy one. I’m gonna fake it til I make it folks!
Here are just a few examples :
- I’m carrying a load of clothes from the dryer to the upstairs bedroom and one or two articles just insists on falling from the pile which is gonna mean 2 trips.
I WON’T— Curse the offending sock and unmentionable to burn for eternity in the laundry lower world.
I WILL–Smile and go retrieve the errant articles and exclaim “that extra trip up and down the steps probably extended my life by .0065 nano seconds! Yay laundry!”
- I’m walking down the street when a stranger inserts his presence all up into my personal mind space and says “Smile! Its not that bad!”
I WON’T–Say “You know what I was just waiting for you to show up before I smiled. I woke up and didn’t know what was missing from my day and I said ‘Eureka self! I know what it is. You haven’t seen random, CD walkman in 2011 having, last-jheri-curl-standing guy yet! When you see him THEN you can smile'”.
I WILL–Smile and say “You know what sir you are absolutely right!” And then I’ll utter words that will make me question my resolve to be chipper “I’m too blessed to be stressed!” Yes y’all I’m gonna go there.
- I’m in my apartment when Simon’s maid comes over and asks me to look after the ailing artist from time to time and open his windows “so he can see God’s beautiful creation”.
I WON’T–Say “Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City “Sailor wanna hump-hump” bar, or is it getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey? Sell crazy someplace else, we’re all stocked up here.”
Oops. That’s from ‘As Good As it Gets’. But you get the picture. I’m gonna join the kill em with kindness crew! You’ll be sorry!