Notes from inside the suit

It was like an outer-body-but-in-Barney’s-body experience.  I’m talking about my blessed hour in a raccoon mascot suit.  5 hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes huh? Well you haven’t lived until you put in some time in one of these babies.

Was I thrilled from the moment I got the news that I’d be visiting a local elementary school as a masked rodent? Not exactly.  There was a pout here and a gnash there and although I never wanted to be “that” librarian I definitely had this fleeting thought: ‘Dress up in a who and do what?? Dude! I have a Master’s Degree!’   Nonetheless I put on the suit and walked into the school and boy am I glad I did.

Children (especially the kind that you, yourself don’t hafta feed, clothe and make something of) are such a joy.  Haven’t gotten your 15 minutes? Put on a mascot suit and go to an elementary school! I felt like Beyonce or Beiber! The kids showered me with such adoration and applause! I may not have to see my therapist this month!

So I’ll give you a quick and dirty (librarian term) report:

• If you ever agree to get in a mascot suit (and you must), make sure the fan inside the head works.  Mine didn’t and I had a waterfall of sweat rolling down my face the entire time. When I was beside myself with heat and sweat my assistant pulled me to the side and threw cold water from her water bottle through the mesh eyes and onto my face Basketball Wives style.  Between my mascara and the sweat and water I still looked like a raccoon when I took the head off.
• If you ever agree to get in a mascot suit (and you must), you gotta pay special attention to that one kid, the one that looks a little more disheveled and neglected that the rest.  They’re the one who really needs you to be their big, giant, caring, non-creepy bear.
• If you ever agree to get in a mascot suit (you know the drill), you might want to check out this or that to get prepared.  Blowing kisses and waving is all good but a mascot who Crip walks? #winning
• If you ever agree to get in a mascot suit make sure that they just, recently, some time this century dry cleaned it.  I learned this one the hard way amigos.  I smelled a faint sourness putting the suit on but  when I emerged the sourness was all the way turned up and my whole body smelled like athletes foot. I felt like I need to be tested for e-coli.
• Kids can really feel good vibrations.  Every teacher I encountered said that this is the first mascot visit that didn’t elicit screams of terror from the tots.  #pureloveoverhere

Can’t give you pictures of me as Rocky the reading rodent because I can’t associate my (perhaps) off colored ramblings with my Library’s image but I can assure you I came, I waved, I Rockied the house.

I make this look good!

Who doesn’t want to wants to be Yonce?! :D

Day 45!

I don’t generally manipulate the lottery–ok well there was butt on a tubb.  I didn’t review the book but I’ve shown you the image enough haven’t I? LOL! Good times.   Anyway.  In the 45 day history of  A Dewey A Day I’ve never completely abandoned the lottery and just  chosen a book to review based on my own selfish, biblio lust. I’m doing that today.

I’ve always appreciated the art of impressionism–not Renoir and his homies, more like Tina Fey and her homies.  What makes some folks so good at mimicking others (my younger sister, older sister and my oldest son are effortlessly good), and some people so bad (I can’t even do an impression of myself)?

But after I saw this clip, with Maya Rudolph doing a subtle but spot-on impression of the incomparable, the ultimate, the ex-quotient, the new math, the head honcho, bottom line–Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, I had to find to find a book on the subject.  What does it take to be a good copy cat?

This is what I turned up…eventually (lots of Drag Queen 101 type books kept coming up):

Lean in close to see this book because its kinda………NON EXISTENT!

I fancy myself a good researcher.   I used my synonyms, I searched in several different forums, I did my pearl growing, crumb following and all that other Library school stuff and I came up with nada.

I did find this great blog entry on the subject but no books.  This speaks volumes.  It says that it’s an art that really can’t be taught–at least not in a self help book.  Guess there’s no Cher impression in my future.

That said, I’ll leave this nugget just on G.P.

Can't say I didn't give you a title a day!

Focusing on Day 11 of the 30 day blog challenge

What’s in your makeup bag?

  Ok so this is whats in my ‘makeup’ bag:

1) a jumble of receipts. what can i say? receipts are comforting. they can provide an alibi should you need one (what? it’s hard out here for a Librarian). also they’re like money–essentially they’re the money that you spent that you really shouldn’t have been spending.  you don’t really need those blue zebra print sunglasses do you? RETURN!

2) hand sanitizer. who cares what all the medical nay sayers  say re: the effectiveness of this glorious goop.  it’s become as american as apple pie and as ubiquitous as Rihanna Beyonce  Rihanna so i think the people have spoken.  if i have my hand sanitizer i’m happy, if i’m happy i’m less likely to contract a cold or a flesh eating virus.  massive gap in logic? perhaps. the bottom line is don’t mess with my hand sanitizer.

3) my Carmex. winter, spring, summer or fall i gotta have it.

4) i usually have mascara and Kohl but my Kohl is missing.  i suspect foul play involving a certain 12 year old priss pot.

5&6) palmers coco butter and some other lotion. why the lotion and the back up lotion? i’m black. and so are most of the people around me.

that’s all for this edition!  what are your must haves? share! maybe (just maybe) i need to up my makeup bag game.

the vessel from whence my complex beauty regime springs!