Not your Grandma’s Mother

Hi All!

Forgive me for deviating from the Dewey-A-Day norm will yall? Just had to get this out but I do give you a bite sized Dewey entry sans ‘my reaction’ at the end of the ‘Mother’ post for you die-hard Dewey heads ūüėÄ


The following was inspired by a recent epiphany:

“Oooh he’s kinda cute”… “Ooh! I wanna get this outfit so I can be the!” ¬†These words have actually been uttered (to me mind you) from the perpetually glossed lips of my ¬†actual 12 year old. ¬†Pre-epiphany this kind of overly familiar teen talk would get met with a disapproving glare from me or a scold: ¬†How are you talking to me!? You do know I’m your mother right?! That’s¬†inappropriate!

I may owe my daughter an apology greater understanding. ¬†You see, prior to this epiphany whether I “did it like my mother” was my litmus test for whether I was mothering right. ¬†I now see a mild error in that logic ¬†because all of the ‘players’ involved are different. ¬† I was a different kind of child than my daughter is and my mother’s experiences made her different from me and vice versa.

That said, I realize that my mother did a bang up job raising us (fight anyone who says otherwise!) but I don’t have to follow her blueprint to the letter to be a successful parent. ¬†Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery but in this case it may be the sincerest way to ruin your mother/daughter relationship with your own child.

After an exchange like the aforementioned one I asked my daughter “Why do you talk to me like this? I would have never had this kind of conversation with my mother”. ¬†Note that her talk was not in a disrespectful tone, just a very ‘familiar’ tone. ¬†She looked at me with that look specific to pre-teens and teens, lip gloss just a poppin on her pursed lips and said “like what? what way?”

But in that instant I had answered my own question. ¬†She talked to me in a way that was natural to her, and when I wasn’t holding myself to my mother’s standard—a much more strict, conservative parenting style—I realized that it felt very natural to me too. ¬†So in the end my daughter and I do talk freely. ¬†We might talk about things that might make another mother blush or get worked up into a self-righteous tizzy. That’s ok. ¬†I’m the in my house and we’re doing it our way ūüėČ

Mother/daughter girl talk...with only the occasional reminder about who pays the cost to be the boss.


As promised!

Day 11

Bibliographic info:

The quotable scientist : Words of wisdom from Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, Richard Feynman, Galileo, Marie Curie, and more

Horvitz, Leslie Alan

McGraw Hill 2000

Summary: A book-o-quotes from that odd lot called scientists